Paranoia Haunted House (Canton, GA)- How we made it to this place before midnight I'll never know. We'd already hit 3 other places, and the hour was growing late. But I was determined, and fortunately, time was on our side.
It was Saturday, Nov. 4th. The last night of the haunt season for this and many other attractions in the Atlanta region. I figured, since we were down there, we might as well check this place out. I'd heard so much about it. retro style wedding selections look vintage
Now in their 7th year, Paranoia (located an hour north of Atlanta) had managed to carve out quite a reputation for itself with it's "extreme" haunt antics, which I was eager to see for myself.
This was also their one and only post-Halloween bonus night. So we simply had to check this place out while we were down in the area.
We pulled into their parking lot at 11:40pm.
A search light beam shined into the night sky before us. We'd actually been able to see it from 30 minutes away!
The place looked amazing from the lot. Pillars of flames shot upwards sporadically, and blasting metal music screamed out of their PA speakers.
Evidently they were still open.
Out front they had numerous photo ops, eye candy, and line actors wandering about.
Not too many people there though. That seemed to be the trend for most of the evening.
The owner, Dave, met us out front by the ticket booth. He was glad we could make it, and wasted no time in hurrying us into the first of two attractions here-this one called Experiment X.
Admission here was $25 I'm pretty sure for both attractions. But I neglected to take notice while standing by the ticket window.
A guy in a radiation suit pointed to an LED monitor on the wall, which read the rules of the attraction, before sending us on our way.
We continued through a dank, sewer-like passage, over a bridge with freely flowing water coming out of pipes on either side of us.
There was a distinct industrial vibe to this attraction, and a bit of a sci-fi theme-which it's name hinted at.
Gory cadavers, and actors thrashing about in cells comprised most of the sights early on in here. Lots of flashing lights and alarms sounding as well.
We pressed onward through a squeeze tunnel, and crossed another bridge with a spastic dummy getting electrocuted and flailing about with actors dressed in laboratory coats below.
At one point, an actor yelled in my face, "Are ya scared yet!?"
A little tired, yes. Scared, no.
We emerged out in a gift shop that featured a photo op with a zombie character that appeared to be a prop at first.
A display for their Christmas attraction sat in a corner, along with a gargantuan ogre prop.
I grabbed a shirt and a quick picture while we were here, since we wouldn't have another opportunity to. It seems that we probably should've gone through this attraction last maybe?
It was brief at 8 minutes, and I wasn't thrilled about the whole "experiment gone wrong" theme. But it was well done, with detailed sets and good actors.
We headed down a long, dark hall with crackling light scares popping all around us, and a surprise chainsaw actor waiting for us at the end.
We emerged back out front of the building, and headed over to the Slaughter Shack next.
This is where the place really excelled as far as I'm concerned.
A skull-faced female actor holding a lantern appeared and led us inside.
We entered an elaborate cemetery setting with flashing lightning and thunder effects. I already liked the atmosphere of this attraction far more than the previous.
A group of actors outside a hillbilly shack facade gathered around us, sniffing our faces in an awkward scenario.
"Let's go meet the butcher!" yelled a big hillbilly fellow.
Just then, a huge animatronic beast of a man shot out through a door next to us, providing one of the most effective scares in here thus far.
There were a lot of Rob Zombie-esque overtones to this attraction. Especially for all those familiar with my favorite movie of his-House of 1,000 Corpses.
Farther ahead, we pushed our way through a series of punching bag sacks hanging in our way, while a crazed orange-haired clown bounced all over the room.
An animatronic dog dog head shot out to greet us near the end, along with outstretched zombie hands that grabbed at us in a hallway.
This attraction was fairly short as well, roughly 8 minutes.
We emerged out of the side of the building, and walked back towards the front, passing a hearse with an old lady actor that asked if we wanted a ride.
A movie projector was playing a movie on the side of the building as we walked past.
A small Paranoia-logo emblazoned bus sat idling before us.
What the heck was this all about?
The lady bus driver out front cackled at us to get on, which we did. Though we never could've guessed what was about to happen.
The bus took off at full speed with the crazed lady driver singing "Wheels of the bus go round and round...", repeatedly slamming on the brakes violently, and sending us tumbling all over in our seats.
I believe I smashed my face into the back of the seat in front of me several times.
The whole while I was having flashbacks from Kreepy Hollow 's insane bus ride from the previous night.
After several minutes of this, we arrived back in front of the building.
Quite shaken and disturbed, we climbed out of the bus from hell, and stood staring at the gathering group of actors that were crawling towards us in the parking lot (see attached pictures).
Things had certainly taken an unforeseen and bizarre turn here.
An actor dressed in a bunny costume hugged my other group member.
Just then, Dave appeared and had all of us stand in front of the bus for a group photo. Not sure where that photo got to, but I'd love to see it.
We said our farewells and thanked him for having us, before piling back into the rental and shoving off towards the hotel.
I'll admit that I wasn't blown away by the first attraction here, but by the time we got off the bus, the over the top theatrics and general "extreme" nature of the place inevitably won me over.
I loved the Slaughter Shack, and the bus ride was just the demented icing on the top.
If you like haunts of the more "extreme" variety, then surely this place is worth seeking out. There's a little something in there to satisfy nearly everyone I would say.
Also, their Christmas haunt "The Holiday of Horror" is actually happening this week and next weekend (the 16th and 23rd) for all those interested in checking it out.

Hauntfinder Rating: * * * (out of 4)